The missing piece of the inclusion puzzle
When my son was in year 4, I was at my parent’s evening where his teacher mentioned that he has a high emotional intelligence. Not that his school was measuring childrens’ levels of emotional intelligence but she said how it is a vital quality to building relationships and connecting with others. I couldn’t agree more! For some people, emotional intelligence comes easier. I believe it is the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle when it comes to shifting the dial on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and building a more inclusive culture. According to a survey by Michael Page, emotional intelligence skills was cited by half of employers surveyed who see this as a vital skills above a degree qualification and work experience yet it is rarely mentioned in applications.
But what is emotional intelligence and why is it an important quality to have in the workplace?
Let’s start with the what…
According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence is “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” It became promininent in conversations in the 1990s thanks to Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
In his book he describes the 5 key features: self awareness, self-management, social skills, empathy and motivation.
Self awareness: being aware of our own strengths and weaknesses and showing humility. Keeping a journal and slowing down our thinking can help us really understand the areas we need to improve on to better understand how we react, who we warm to, our biases and identify what we need to do to create more inclusive environment.
Self-management: staying in control, admitting when we make mistakes and staying calm when we are under pressure or challenged.
Social skills: managing change, resolving conflict and praising others. Vital skills for everyone at work especially leaders and managers.
Empathy: a fundamental skill all leaders should have involves being mindful of our body language (crossed arms, sighing, tone of voice etc) and how it comes across, paying close attention to how other people are feeling and responsive to their feelings and walk in other peoples’ shoes.
Motivation: focused and committed to achieving our goals, committed to lead. We need this in abundance to stay focused especially when it comes to ED&I- not get distracted and go off course.
Why should it matter?
Whilst much attention has focused on addressing bias in behaviours, systems and structures that define a workplace culture and act as barriers to inclusion, not much focus has been on the role of emotional intelligence.
How can we use emotional intelligence to nurture a more inclusive workplace then?
Emotional intelligence requires us to:
- Be “in the moment” to how we respond to and judge others
- Use empathy to put ourselves in other peoples’ shoes
- Actively listen to what others are saying and not get distracted during conversation.
- Dig deep, self reflect and be aware of our own biases, when these come into play, how we react differently around different people and harnessing this knowledge to act more inclusively
- Being aware of others feelings and how and why they maybe feeling helps foster better relationships and understanding of where someone is coming from.
It’s not just leaders who should demonstrate this. We all should. Key questions we should use to keep ourselves in check is:
Who do I tend to go to for advice or ask for help? Are they similar to myself?
Do I act differently depending what company I’m in?
How can I make colleagues feel included?
Whose not in the room? And who is in the room?
How can I create an environment to encourage team members to raise any concerns or challenge things and feel safe? What do I need to do to make that happen?
To create a culture of inclusion and belonging we must harness the power of emotional intelligence to facilitate better understanding of ourselves, our trusted circles, biases and how our emotions and actions affect our behaviours and others around us.
